Teddy, Did You Schteal My Dempsey?
by Sniper Typhoon Hedgehog
Summary: Excited that the mystery box spawned in the starting room of Kino der Toten first, Dempsey decides to use it right when he can, but gets the ol' Teddy Bear. What will happen when he gets mad and decides to hop INSIDE the box when it disappears?
1. Don't see that everyday!

**WOO 10th FIC OF MINE!**

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><p>Teleportation was always a dream to people. Something out of someone's science fiction filled imagination that would revolutionize the world of transportation. However, once you teleport <em>for real<em>, you begin to regret having made that choice of having your own cells and atoms disassembled, rushed through a series of wires at speeds unimaginable, and then _praying_ that all your particles are put back together in the right way. Followed by several minutes of feeling dizzy.

The blinding light of an electrical discharge shone everywhere in the dark and condemned theater lobby. Out of the bright light appeared four figures, once again, ready to combat undead.

Nikolai stumbled as the teleportation process finished. Looking around the dreadful room, he noticed that the whole place was powerless. He stepped over to Dr. Richtofen, and placed his hands perpendicular to his face to make his speech louder. Nikolai then screamed in Richtofen's ear. "_MAYBE SOMEONE SHOULD GO TURN ON THE POWER NOW!_"

The Nazi scientist flinched, as he was not expecting his drunk friend to shout directly in his ear. However, he was not concerned about the condition of his own ear as much as he was about smelling the slightest bit of Nikolai's breath. "Ja, ja." He replied. "I hear you, my good Russian friend. Dempsey!" He shouted and looked around the room for the American. He was not in sight. "You go turn it on!"

It appeared that only Nikolai, Richtofen, and Takeo were the only ones there.

"What's this?" The three of them heard from someplace slightly above and in front of them. "Holy crap! _No way_!" The voice gasped, and a series of rumbles was heard.

Richtofen, Takeo, and Nikolai looked up the stairway on the left and saw Tank Dempsey jumping giddily around by a long rectangular crate with two question marks on it, which was on a small balcony, and gave off a shiny blue glow. On the wall opposite to it was a map of the theater drawn in chalk.

The three men still downstairs walked upstairs and approached the Marine Raider.

"Not too often does the box spawn _here_!" Dempsey shouted, still very happy. "In the lobby! First spawn!"

"It appears the box has decided to become honorable for once." Takeo commented. "But we must get to work if we are to prosper, for the wise man plows in season."

Dempsey gave another chuckle and tried opening the mystery box. "Oh yeah..." Dempsey remembered. "This thing costs money. Guess we should get to that plowing you were talking about, Tak!" Tank Dempsey jumped down to the bottom floor, and attacked some zombies that have climbed out of the smashed doors or windows that none of them were watching.

The other three did as Dempsey did and each guarded a window from the zombies.

In a matter of seconds, Dempsey earned 950 points, just enough for one weapon spin at the box. He always loved the thrill of gambling, especially if he could get an awesome gun out of it. He ran back upstairs, and presented the points to the mystery box. It then opened and cycled through many different weapons, ranging from ballistic knives to the Thundergun.

The first wave had ended, and Richtofen, Takeo, and Nikolai headed back upstairs during the intermission to see what their crazy American comrade had gotten from the wonderful box.

"Boy am I gonna kill 'em all before any of you can!" Dempsey teased as all the weapons finished cycling. It finally landed on... "_DAMMIT!_" The Teddy Bear.

"Oh, vhat a shame..." Richtofen sarcastically said before Samantha's evil laughter.

"Hmm." Takeo thought. "Being honorable in order to be dishonorable to the dishonorable American. Is that being honorable?"

Dempsey threw a short tantrum as the teddy bear ascended out of sight. He then thought of an idea. "Oh, I'm not done with you!" He said to the box. After saying that, Tank jumped inside the box and looked all around in it for anything good, but all he found was straw. "_Bleh_!"

Everyone knew what happens to the mystery box when someone got the teddy bear. Dempsey, on the other hand, forgot all about that for now. The crate's lid slammed shut, sealing the Marine inside. "What the- Hey!" He tried to open it, but it got him nowhere. He felt the box float off the ground and then it rocked violently back and fourth, reminding him of a roller coaster. Except he was laying on straw inside a wooden crate.

The Demonic Announcer went through its demonic laugh. "_BYE-BYE_!" The mystery box then vanished with a flash of light.

Richtofen, Takeo, and Nikolai were stunned at what they saw. "W-w-w-what j-j-just..." Nikolai stuttered, before coming back to his senses. "Eh, probably drinking too much again." The drunk Russian took out his vodka bottle and belched.

"He is..." Takeo pondered. "_Inside_ the box?"


	2. Whoa

The Nazi doctor, the Japanese captain, and the drunk Soviet remained by the now bare mystery box spawn for a few moments, wondering if what they just saw really happened.

A slight grin appeared on Richtofen's face. "Ze box schtole Dempsey." He observed. The grin on his face shortly went away and was replaced with a freaking-out type expression. "_Vhat is ze meaning of your antics, Samantha!_" He begged as he knelled and pounded his hands on where the mystery box just was.

Takeo and Nikolai went back downstairs to continue watching the windows just before the second round started. Nikolai claimed the one directly under the box spawn. Takeo took the other two out in the open. Richtofen was stuck with the one upstairs, to his right.

Nikolai downed the last bit of vodka from his bottle and let out a burp _so_ big that he tasted and smelled his last meal. "...Ramen? I can't tell." He threw the empty bottle out from where he was. Out of extreme odds, it hit Takeo on the shoulder as he was running to the other window he was guarding.

"Bah!" was all Takeo could say at the moment, as he was far too busy to deal with his rival at the moment.

The three of them continued fighting for awhile. Nikolai and Richtofen still possessed one more fresh M1911 magazine. Takeo on the other hand, was all out, for he was watching over two windows to make up for Dempsey's absence. He rushed upstairs when the second round ended to purchase an M14.

Nikolai was coming out of his drunkness or whatever now. "Wait a minute..." He thought. "DEMPSEY IS STUCK INSIDE THE BOX!" He shouted.

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><p>"<em>WhoooooOOOooooOOooooaaaaa<em>!" Shouted Dempsey as he floated through a bleak void. "So _this_ is where the box goes after vanishing, and before popping up again somewhere else!" Looking around, he saw every type of thing you could imagine. Things like deodorant and ball-point pens, and also things such as bell towers and avalanches inside a jar that flowed upward. He even saw Vladimir Makarov as a My Little Pony. "Heh heh..."

After floating on through awhile, a lone ray gun just levitated into his right hand. "Huh?" It startled Tank at first, but then he realized what it was. "Sweet!" And if that wasn't enough, a very physically attractive and also naked woman floated to Dempsey's left side, making contact. "_SWEETER_!"

Right when he was about to celebrate my-dreams-cane-true-while-I-was-lost-in-a-void style, everything collapsed in an instant and he found himself laying on a bed of straw in a small dark container once again. "Oh, _SCREW YOU, BOX_!" He shouted. He took a few seconds to regain his cool before slowly opening the lid of the mystery box from the inside and peeking out to see where he was.

Dempsey was blinded by a bright light from his left.

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><p><strong>Sorry if this chapter is kinda short. The later ones will get longer! :3<strong>


	3. Box Lag

The light in Dempsey's eyes was _so _intense, he couldn't see anything around him. He growled at this and then went back inside the box. It was then he realized that all of a sudden, he felt very sleepy, and didn't have the energy to hop out of the mystery box to see just where he was. Dempsey started dozing as he laid back down on the straw. It was actually quite comfortable, he thought. Though everything feels comfortable if you're sleepy enough.

Within a matter of seconds, Tank was fast asleep.

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><p>The Soviet and the Japanese collided at the base of the staircase. Because Nikolai was still a little drunk, he was barely hurt. Takeo, however, took a harder fall on the stairs themselves. Takeo felt a little pain, as he had landed on a rigid surface and his build wasn't as stocky as Nikolai's, therby causing him to be pushed backwards with more force. Takeo felt several joints in his spine crack. Luckily, he managed to supress his fall slightly with his "new" M14.<p>

"Ow!" Exclaimed Nikolai. "Watch where you're going when you run down stairs!" Nikolai stood back up.

"You should know better than to run out in the open." Takeo lectured while standing up. "Never mind this minor quarrel, though. We have bigger business to attend to!" He cocked the M14 and started jogging back to one of the windows.

Nikolai followed him. "Wait though, the box stole Dempsey!"

Takeo turned back to Nikolai as he rebuilt the barrier made of wooden planks. "The ugly American deserved it, with his dishonor. Besides, We don't need him to survive. Each of us will have more points, because Dempsey isn't here to claim any."

"He's still our comrade, though! We probably wouldn't have made it out of Der Riese with our lives if it wasn't for his help!"

Takeo thought for a second. "Alright." He replied. "We will rescue him if we see him, but I will _neither_ search this place, nor increase my pace! Ha ha! I can rhyme too, Nikolai!"

Nikolai settled for that.

An eerie tone played, signifying that round 3 has just begun. Nikolai bought an Olympia shotgun right on the wall next to where he and Takeo were conversing. After that, he ran back to his window, spiking a couple of zombies in the head that were in the process of tearing down the barrier when get got there.

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><p>The mystery box jumped forcibly, waking Dempsey right on up and causing him to hit his head on the top of the crate. "<em>Oof<em>!" He shouted while taking a small splinter out of his forehead. "What was that for?"

"_Wake up!_" The Demonic Announcer scolded Dempsey. "_The game AND the fanfic would be boring if you just slept around the whole time!_"

"Hey, if anyone's gonna be breakin' the fourth wall here it's gonna be me! I've become known for that and I'm not gonna let some disembodied voice take my spotlight!"

"_Get out_!" The mystery box lid then opened.

The light was still as bright, but Dempsey's eyes soon adjusted to it. Looking around, he saw that he was in an untidy place, just like the whole theater. Tank stumbled as he looked around the room, as he was still pretty sleepy. The particular room he was in had a window on one wall, letting sunlight in the room. The Marine eventually stepped out of the box and looked around for himself. The room was very cramped, probably not even a hundred square feet. The first other thing he noticed was a bookcase-like thing in front of him, which had black letters scattered everywhere on its shelves, as well as all around it. It also held a meteor of Element 115 on the bottom shelf. On the wall perpendicular to the shelf was a door with the top half torn off, and a few wooden planks covering up the top half slightly. A short corridor by the mystery box spawn led to another broken door barricaded by wooden planks. In the other side of the room was a bunch of electrical wall switches which occasionally sparked, showing that electricity still flowed through the devices. They didn't seem to do anything though. There was also an opened door made of metal, which revealed an exit of the building. Down some stairs out the exit was a small area for garbage. There was also a large chain link fence with a big gate that lead into an alley.

"Oh great!" Dempsey pouted while turning too early while coming back inside and walking into the wall. He was still pretty tired. "Of _all_ rooms, it had to be this tiny one!" After finishing up his short look around the room, he returned to the mystery box. "Well at least when someone gets the teddy bear, they get their money back." However, he saw now that had 0 points to spend. "Hey what gives?"

The Demonic Announcer laughed again. "_That's what you get for messing around and losing your temper!_"

Dempsey was starting to become irritated by the Demonic Announcer's taunting. "Well maybe you shouldn't-a given me the teddy bear!"

"_It's my job to give that to someone every once in a while! Just as it is with you and YOUR fourth wall_"

"It's not supposed to appear on the _very_ first use of the box in a game!"

"_Meh, I felt like it. Besides, you can blame yourself for being irresponsible with your points. As well as going inside the box._"

"Whatever." Dempsey spat. "I can't believe I'm talking to a box!" He realized that he had been yelling at the mystery box because there was nothing else to argue at. It was also because the Demonic Announcer was communicating privately to Dempsey through the mystery box so the others wouldn't hear.

The Demonic Announcer laughed once more. "_Just get to the most amusing zombie fighting! Round 3 has begun already. Also enjoy your box lag, similar to jet lag. If you know what a 'jet' is, anyway._"

A zombie screamed as it climbed through the door by the shelves behind Tank. He took a couple steps backward to get out of the zombie's fighting range. After this zombie made it through, a few others found their way in. There were also ones coming out of the broken door through the short hallway next to the mystery box.

The brave Marine drew his M1911, still yet to be used in this particular game, and aimed carefully for the zombie's head, and while trying his best to resist the stretching his body screamed for.


	4. Agreements

Dr. Richtofen waited until the zombie came up real close to his window. Then he would knife the zombie just for the extra blood to fly. He seemed to be having some sort of demented orgasm at the feel of the putrid blood splatter against his skin.

Nikolai hesitated approaching him at the sight of this. "Uhmm, Richtofen?" He said.

"Just a moment, Nikolai." Richtofen replied while waiting for another zombie to hobble up to his window. When it got there, the insane Nazi swung his knife and felt the flesh splash. "Aaaahhhh... Yes?" He turned around to face Nikolai.

"Um, well, you saw that the box stole Dempsey, right?"

"Ah, yes indeed! Very amusing! Oooh, I hate zhat Dempsey!"

"Um, okay. Well, even so we should probably try to save him, no? I mean, he's a great comrade to have."

"Hm. I suppose I would _love_ to see him cry in pain for mercy against mein beasts!" Richtofen let out a crazy laugh.

Nikolai waited a few moments before speaking up again. "Errrrrm... okay I'll take that as a 'yes we will save him'."

"Bah." Richtofen uttered. "If you vant to put it zhat vay."

Nikolai was pleased. He just might get his 'friend' back. They all should get moving soon, he thought. Currently, Nikolai had 2,450 points to spend. He decided to wait just one more round.

"Nikolai!" A voice called up from below. "Watch your window!" It was Takeo running all around on the ground floor, trying to avoid a bunch of zombies that had gotten through Nikolai's window, since no one was watching it right now. Running around zombies and reloading a long rifle was harder than it looked. Takeo soon managed to get the new magazine inside the M14, and finished off most of the zombies from the middle of the stairway on the right. Nikolai killed the ones Takeo couldn't.

"You're welcome." Nikolai sarcastically snapped, while putting two shells back into his shotgun.

Takeo ignored Nikolai's remark. "We will move on at the end of this round."

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><p>Dempsey wiped some zombie guts off his knife with his pant leg. He was still alive. "Is this round over yet?" He mumbled.<p>

"_Nope!_" The Demonic Announcer answered.

"I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU!"

"_Why not? Everyone loves talking to me!_"

Dempsey groaned. "Obviously not, if I don't."

"_Well, that's different. You're less than a human being!_"

"I'm more than you! You're just a voice!"

"_A huge, scary, THUNDEROUS voice!_" The Demonic Announcer shouted that loud enough for that to be a message to every player.

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><p>Nikolai looked up, dumbfounded. "You guys hear that?"<p>

Richtofen rushed over to Nikolai. "JA JA!" He screamed excitedly. "I told you the voices vere real!"

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><p>"Gah, here I go arguing with a voice again!" Dempsey complained while emptying another pistol magazine into a zombie's head, killing it, along with another one behind it. "Getting a little low here." Tank pulled the pin of a frag grenade and tossed it in the middle of four zombies limping his way. The blast killed three of them, and made a crawler of the fourth. Dempsey killed the crawler by knifing it. "Yawn."<p>

"_Congratulations!_" The Demonic Announcer piped up. "_You have survived one round on your own here._"

"I could survive a million!"

"_Doubt it. You'll be dead by then. Either killed by undead, or by age. Most likely, and hopefully, the former. Well, the latter would also be good!_" The Demonic Announcer let out another evil laugh.

"Yeah, keep laughing." Dempsey taunted while stretching. "Aw, yeah!"

"_Oh, and I have a little present for you to keep the fun times going!_"

Tank was struck by so many thoughts at once, he couldn't say anything.

"_Since you have no points still. . ._"

Dempsey took a look at his score indicator. It was still at 0. "Hey, why the hell do I still have zero points? I killed at least a dozen zombies!"

"_The mystery box is a strange thing. When you jump into it, it will really screw up your life. I've told this to thousands before you. Well actually, none before you._"

Dempsey shot the mystery box with one M1911 bullet.

"_Anyway, your present is one free weapon spin at the box, generously given to you by yours truly._"

The Marine was flabbergasted by this. Was some evil voice who had just kidnapped him about to give him a free weapon so he could defend himself? "Whatever." He replied flatly.

The mystery box lid opened on its own. Tank watched as it cycled through a bunch of firearms. His hopes started to increase. He might actually get something great. Perhaps a lightweight SMG so he could keep slipping through zombies' grasps, or powerful like an LMG so he could sit in one corner of the room all day, laying suppressing fire on the zombies. Even the ballistic knife would be very helpful to him now. He might even get a wonder weapon. Oh how that would help him _so_ much!

He was joyful until it landed on an L96A1 sniper rifle.

"Oh great." He stomped on the floor out of disappointment. "Of _all_ weapons!"

Usually, the L96 would be a respectful weapon at this time. But, a tiny room such as this wasn't the best place to use a bulky and really heavy bolt-action sniper rifle with a 5 round magazine. Even the Dragunov would be more useful, due to its smaller size, lighter weight, larger clip, and semi-automatic nature.

The Demonic Announcer laughed again. "_You like it? I was sure to give you something that would make one of us happy!_"

Tank took the sniper rifle and cocked it. "Hmph. Well you picked the wrong one to please."


	5. We Moving

Round 4 began shortly. "You guys ready to get moving?" Nikolai asked his comrades.

"Ah, ja." Richtofen lightly answered, zombie flesh still in his head. Literally.

"Alright." Takeo replied.

All three of them reloaded their weapons as they made their way to the upstairs door, which was still locked. Nikolai held up 750 points from his current 3,820 and the door opened right on up.

Takeo noticed he was getting very low on M14 ammo. "I will go buy more honor."

While Takeo went to do so, Nikolai thought it might be a good idea to rebuild a couple barriers real quick in order to get a few more points before moving on. He went downstairs and began repairing the barricade on the window near the bar area with the Quick Revive machine.

"They are starting to get out quick." Takeo commented while firing downward from the top of the stairs onto a zombie's head coming out of the window by the Olympia. "Hurry up!"

"Okay okay. . ." Nikolai ran back upstairs to regroup with his friends.

Richtofen finished firing another M1911 magazine at a zombie that was coming from across the upper level of the room they were in. "Let's get moving!" He said bravely as he turned around and ran up the small flight of stairs into the upper hall.

Nikolai looked around once he got up the steps to the upper level of the starting room. "Hey," he pointed out "There's not _that_ many coming! No need to rudely hurry me up!"

Takeo tried not to slap Nikolai upside the head. "Don't you remember they start coming in quick eventually? Oh, nevermind this! Lets just get moving!" Takeo continued to lay fire on the various zombies that were getting out of the windows in the lobby. Pretty soon, There were too many approaching for Takeo to hold off with just one 8 round M14 magazine. He did his best to aim for their wobbling heads.

"Lets go, mein friends!" Richtofen shouted from just inside the upper hall. Takeo and Nikoali complied and stepped up the small set of stairs into the same room as the psychotic Nazi.

Dr. Richtofen started to get a little too cocky at being the 'team leader' at the moment. After the Japanese and Russian were in the upper hall, he sprinted down the narrow corridor leading to the other side of the room. His comrades waited for a moment. "Zhis vay!" He shouted as he turned around. Just after finishing that statement, a zombie fell down from the hole in the roof on the other side, and landed right on Richtofen. "Nein! It cannot be!" The doctor was down.

"Doctor!" Takeo shouted. "Do not fear, I am on the way!" He started running toward Richtofen on the other side of the hallway, quickly killing the zombie that had downed him.

"Wait!" Nikolai warned as he pulled his Japanese rival to a stop by grabbing his shoulder. Just then, dozens more undead came charging from the other side of the hall and out of the restroom on the right.

"What? You don't think I could have made it? Richtofen needs help, there is no time!"

"If you went, you would've gotten downed too, Takeo. And them I would be the last one remaining and then I would get downed and then it would be all over and we would never find Dempsey! Even worse, _NO MORE VODKA_!"

Zombies started approaching from behind them in the lobby. They were about to be cornered. Luckily, Nikolai thought up one of his famous (and by that I mean not famous at all) plans. The drunk Russian picked up Takeo as fast as he could, leaned him back, and hurled the Japanese captain at the crowd of zombies coming from the hall and restroom.

"You filthy-" Takeo soon figured out what Nikolai had in mind and just decided to go with it. "_Hiya_!" He smashed right into the charging zombies in a martial arts-style kick that you would only see in movies, knocking the zombie remains all over the place. It was like Takeo was an Asian bowling ball flying down the alley and into the undead pins. After landing back on his feet, Takeo began reviving Richtofen.

"Strike!" Nikolai celebrated.

"Three." Takeo 'continued'. "You're out! Hawhaw!"

"Bleh." Nikolai started walking their way when he was soon smacked in the back. "Oh shi-!" They had forgotten the zombies approaching from the lobby. He quickly turned around and finished them all off with a combination of Olympia firing, grenade tossing, and knife swinging. Takeo and Richtofen provided some bullet support from the other end of the hall. "Whew!"

Richtofen was now fully revived. "Danke." He thanked Takeo. "Zhat vas rather impressive! You two should vork together more often!"

Takeo and Nikolai glared at each other. "Meh. . ." They replied bluntly.

The sound of zombie groaning was heard again.

"We are not out of this round yet!" Takeo notified. He went with Richtofen further into the hall back by the portraits of them all. Richtofen was tempted to sit down on the slightly destroyed couch that was there.

Nikolai decided to buy a PM63 submachine gun off the nearby wall, realizing that holding off the zombies with the Olympia alone would be too risky, as well as take too long. He then joined his two other comrades as they were preparing to camp where they were. Takeo and Nikolai faced out toward the direction they came, as they were the ones with the most effective weapons. Richtofen, still managing to live off his M1911, watched the window behind them in the back of the room.

A zombie came at full speed up from the lobby and was headed right their way. Takeo shot it a couple times and it fell dead, and round 4 was now over. When the zombie fell to the ground, it left what looked like a golden hammer floating in the air with a green glow shining form it.

"This might help." Takeo commented as he walked over to get it. "Or not. Either way, we'll just have to wait a little longer until they get out.

"_CARPENTER!_" The Demonic Announcer announced. All the barricades went back up and the three of them recieved 600 points.

Takeo returned to his defensive position in front of the sofa, and round 5 started up shortly.

"I hope you know what you're doing, by camping in an area like this." Nikolai said as he checked to make sure his PM63 was ready to fire.

"Um, well," Takeo started to answer. "Let's just say I want to try something new."

* * *

><p>Tank soon got the right rhythm down for aiming down the sniper scope quickly, firing, cycling the bolt, and repeating. Thanks to the rifle's high penetration, he was able to bring down multiple zombies in a row at once that were coming at him in a line. Thanks to the room's smallness, it happened often.<p>

Dempsey was starting to enjoy taking down many zombies at once. It was even easier than using his pistol, knife, and grenades. "Hey Voice, maybe you actually picked the _right_ one to please!" He said teasingly.

"_After all, I didn't say WHICH one of us would be pleased!_"

Dempsey chuckled as he crouched down for a short rest during the intermission between rounds.

"_But I never said it will stay with that one person. Time for round 5!_"

"Bring it on, Voice!" Dempsey changed mags and stood up. "Bring. It. ON! I don't remember round 5 being anymore different than round 4!"

The Demonic Announcer laughed a little. "_We'll just see how you hold up in round 6. . .!_"


	6. Continuing Assault

**Man, I'm real sorry for the long update, guys. Been busy with school and athletics, PLUS writers' block showed its ugly head again. Heck, it's not just its face that's ugly, it's its WHOLE BODY! Yeah, I'll be quiet now. . .**

* * *

><p>Sure enough, round 5 was no different than round 4. Dempsey continued his waltz around the room with his L96A1. Despite the fact than his left arm got tired frequently from having to hold up and pan the heavy rifle's barrel around to aim right, he was still having some fun disposing of the undead. He even joked that it made it more of a challenge to him, so it evened the scales a little more.<p>

Of course, Tank's efficiency wasn't at all diminished.

"Hum dee dum, dee dum. . ." Tank hummed to himself. He was starting to get a little bored, actually. "Okay, yeah, it sure _is_ no different that round 4!"

"_Why are you complaining?_" The Demonic Announcer teased. "_Doesn't that mean that you're in no danger?_"

"Well, I risk my life every day brawling with these marrow maggots! _This_ is just getting boring. Even though it's the same thing, it's not!" Dempsey paused to think about what he said. "Errm. . .nevermind. But I still don't know how I'm bored after just two rounds. Maybe I still got some box lag." He reloaded his sniper rifle and finished off the last few zombies there.

"_Well,_" The Demonic Announcer started. "_This isn't going anywhere._"

* * *

><p>Takeo, Nikolai, and Richtofen ended up not camping in that corner after all. Probably just instinct that it's too early to be camping, they thought.<p>

Richtofen emptied yet another 8-round M1911 magazine into some undead, not doing much good anymore. He started to reload, when he realized that he used up his last one. "I need to find some ammunition!" Richtofen started to cry. "_AHHH!_"

"Buy a different gun, Doctor!" Takeo recommended while aiming and firing at the zombie's heads with his M14.

"Nein, I'll use mein knife und grenades!"

"Whatever makes your boat float, Doctor."

Nikolai started to see that their progress was going a little slower than he hoped. Round 5, and still not past the upper hall. "Alright guys," he asserted, "we need to get moving if we want Dempsey alive! So I'll-"

"Oh, yeah." Richtofen remembered. Though he wasn't replying to Nikolai's recommendation, rather he forgot the last part in his in-game quote. "_AHHH!_" He cried.

Nikolai paused. "Uh, well. . .as I was gonna say, open the next door!"

"Ja ja." Richtofen answered. "You do so."

"I will follow." Takeo also insisted. As soon as he emptied another M14 clip, he rushed back to join his comrades as Nikolai opened the door into the lobby. (I heard it's really the foyer, but I always pictured the starting room as the foyer and the room with the cafe-like area the lobby. CONFUSION.)

Dr. Rchtofen was the first one down the set of stairs. "_AAAAHHHahahahah. . .!_" He laughed in pleasure as his favorite weapon came into view. "Ze MP40! My beautibar!" In a matter of mere seconds, a shiny MP40 was in his hands. The insane doctor felt a surge of energy rush through him. "Let's make _SVISSSSSH CHEEEEEESE aaahahaha!_" He began spraying bullets all over the room, also killing the few zombies that stumbled out of barriers that they had torn down already.

Takeo and Nikolai waited a moment to go into the room, as to avoid getting hit by one of the Nazi's stray bullets. By the looks of how excited he was to get his favorite gun finally, Richtofen could quite easily put a bullet into his foot, another into the ceiling, and another into Takeo and/or Nikolai all within the same second.

The dervish of bullets soon stopped. "He's empty." Takeo pointed out. "Let's move in." As he said that, a couple of zombies limped from the upper hall into the stairwell they were in. Takeo saw them just in time to whack them upside the head with the M14's buttstock. They fell to the ground. Takeo did as well, because the zombies actually fell on _him_.

"Get up!" Nikolai ordered. "They'll be more coming!" The Russian stepped down the stairs and into the top level of the lobby.

Dr. Rictofen stuck a fresh MP40 stick magazine into his prized submachine gun. "Vait." He thought. "Zhere are more coming from ze upstairs room!" Without hesitation, Richtofen took off to the upper level of the room, passing by Nikolai on the way up.

Takeo managed to get back to his feet. "Alright." He sighed. "Let us contini-_AUGH!_"

Richtofen crashed into Takeo on the way up the stairs, knocking him right back on the stairs. "Oops!" The doctor blurted. "Sorry about zhat, little tofu person!" He continued skipping up the stairs.

Takeo growled as he jumped back to his feet again. He decided to let the doctor take care of the last bit of the zombies in the round. Plus, he sure as hell didn't want to get in his way. Again.

Nikolai stood rebuilding the barrier on the door nearest to the Stakeout shotgun. _Wonder how Dempsey is doing._ He thought. _I just hope he's still alive. We've really come a long way with his help._ His pondering was interrupted by the Japanese man entering the vicinity.

"So," Takeo started as he bought a Stakeout. "Still no American."

"Naw." He answered flatly.

Takeo was not sure what else to say at the moment. "Hmph." He started walking down the large staircase by Nikolai. "Get ready. You know what's coming in the next round."

Nikolai sighed in reply as he walked over to the opposite corner of the room, and crouched facing outward.

Downstairs, Takeo did the same on a small pile of rubble by the powerless Speed Cola machine.

A final burst of gunshots echoed from upstairs in the upper hall, followed by one of Richtofen's maniacal laughs. He must have killed the last zombie in the round, because the round ended. Right when it ended, a white light appeared and went away quickly.

"_Kaboom._" The Demonic Announcer said calmly.

"D'OH!" Richtofen cried. "Zhat did NOTHING!"

* * *

><p>Dempsey sat on the floor. "Finished another round!" He gawked.<p>

"_Way to go_." The Demonic Announcer answered sarcastically.

"And you're still running your mouth! Err, vocal co-. . .well, whatever you use to talk. Holy crap, how _do_ you talk!"

"_Only Takeo knows_._ But even so, he does not._" It said in an impression of Takeo's voice.

"Hey! Don't make fun of Tak!

"_Whatever. IT'S ROUND 6 TIME!_"

Dempsey growled. "Don't remind me." He said under his breath.

"_You know what that means!_"

An eerie fog rolled into the room, making everything seem a little dimmer. "_FETCH ME THEIR SOULS!_" The Demonic Announcer shouted in a more evil-sounding voice.

Lightning struck on the far side of the room, away from the mystery box. Dempsey rolled quickly around the corner and took a position by the shelf with the meteor on it. He would have to take out the elusive Hellhounds at point blank with a sniper rifle.

"_Are you excited?_" The Demonic Announcer taunted. "_Cause I certainly am!_"

Tank loaded a new mag into the L96. "Overjoyed." He replied with an emotionless tone.


	7. Broken Beyond Repair

The evil flaming canine landed on the ground floor ahead of Takeo with a loud thud, but not at all shaken. It started charging full speed at the Japanese captain. Takeo, showing know fear, lined up the sights of the Stakeout with the Hellhound's head, and fired, causing the hound to explode and vaporize. He pumped the weapon, causing the now empty shell to eject, and waited for the next dog.

Upstairs, Nikolai did the same with the Olympia, excluding the pumping.

And from _further_ upstairs, all that was heard was long bursts of gunfire, followed by an explosion and a maniacal laugh. Maybe they kept Richtofen away from his favorite toy a little _too _long, Takeo thought. Now he seems to be enjoying it a little _too_ much.

But hey, this just makes it easier for them and tougher on the zombies.

"I will not succumb to you!" Takeo shouted as he blasted yet another hound.

It was quiet for a few moments. There must only be a few hounds left, or they were upstairs attempting to maul Richtofen. Emphasis on 'attempting'. "Mommy said not to hurt animals anymore. So I vill hurt zhem so horribly zhey vill not _feel_ it! NYAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

After that was more bursts of gunfire and explosions.

Takeo chuckled. "Never mess with the Doctor, you foul beasts!"

One Hellhound escaped Richtofen's mini-massacre. It came sprinting down the stairs from the upper hall, and right at Nikolai.

The Russian had the dog lined up perfectly in his sights, when he thought of an extremely daring idea. "Hey," He thought. "I never actually tried 'fetch the grenade' on one of the dogs before. . . I'm gonna try it!" With that, he took out a fragmentation grenade, and pulled the pin off as he stood up. "Hey demon, spawn, FETCH THE GRENADE!"

Nikolai threw the frag grenade as hard as he could over to the far side of the room, which landed near the MP40 on the wall. To Nikolai's shock, the Hellhound actually went and chased the grenade! "Whoa." He commented. "I actually didn't expect that."

Takeo noticed that a live frag grenade seemed to have fallen from the sky and landed across the room. Peculiar, he thought. Until he heard Nikolai laughing upstairs.

"Idiot." Takeo said under his breath.

The Hellhound came galloping down the steps to the lower part of the room. Takeo was very dumbfounded to see that the hound actually retrieved the live grenade. "So they really _do_ fetch."

He continued to watch as the dog began starting back up the steps it used to come down, carrying the live grenade in its mouth. "But did Nikolai forget that the whole point of fetch is the part where they bring it back?"

Nikolai watched as the Hellhound trotted back to him with the grenade still in its mouth. When it reached Nikolai, it halted in front of him, and dropped the frag grenade at his feet.

Nikolai did not take this part into thought. "Well, shi-"

* * *

><p>This was probably the most terror Dempsey had felt in years. He was actually <em>almost <em>scared! He felt the fear tear at his nerves after not seeing a Hellhound search its way around the corner for some time. No matter though. He was just feeling a little peevish that at any moment a Hellhound could walk around the corner and he would only have a split second to pull the trigger. That's just for the reflexes involved. Weather the bullet hit the dog or not was a different story.

But hell, Tank Dempsey is a legendary soldier! He actually isn't afraid at all, and his reflexes were as sharp as ever, despite him missing one or two hounds. Whenever that happened, he simply wrestled it to the floor and finished to off with his knife.

"Thanks for saying that, narrator." Tank replied. "It almost made up for the previous paragraph where you made me sound weak."

_Anytime!_

Another lone Hellhound sniffed its way around the corner. Before it even saw Dempsey, a bullet flew through it, causing it to explode. In the spot where it vanished, a floating golden ammunition box with a green glow appeared.

"At last!" Dempsey sighed. he was almost out of ammo. He hastily ejected the now empty L96A1 magazine, and inserted a new one. Upon finishing, Tank walked into the floating ammo box and he received many new magazines for his L96 and his M1911.

"_MAX AMMO!_" The Demonic Announcer notified.

"_Phew-wee_!" Tank cheered. "Eat it, voice! Another round over and still unscathed!"

There was no response from the Demonic Announcer.

"Hello?" Tank called. "Ya there?"

* * *

><p>Takeo walked upstairs while loading new shells into his shotgun. All the way over at the opposite corner of the room, Nikolai was blackened, along with the rest of the corner. He lay there in second chance mode. "Hello! I could use some HELP!" The drunk Soviet called.<p>

The Japanese captain slowly walked as far as the doorway to the upper hall, and stopped, then leaned on the wall next to it. He was carrying a smug expression on his face. "So Nikolai," he teased, "I saw that you-_OOF_!"

Dr. Richtofen randomly came charging down the stairs and knocked into Takeo again. "Vatch vhre I'm going!" Richtofen advised to Takeo.

"My apologies, Doctor." Replied Takeo.

"Nikolai, my friend!" Richtofen greeted. "You need ze Doctor's help here, ja?" Richtofen proceeded to revive his Russian 'friend' before he had a chance to respond to his seemingly rhetorical question.

Nikolai sighed while returning to his feet. "Well, it _did_ fetch it!"

"Ve vill make sure ze doggies pay for their ignorance, Nikolai." He continued, completely disregarding Nikolai's last statement.

"Meh, I don't really care too much about the dogs." Nikolai loaded two fresh shells into his Olympia shotgun. "I just want to find Dempsey and-"

"Oh ja! _Dempsey_! Oh I do hope my pretties haven't eaten him up _juuuuust_ yet, ja?"

". . .Uh, yeah. Right. Sure." He slid a new PM63 magazine into his PM63 (What else would he load a PM63 mag into?). "We really should get going. We'll get overrun real quickly if we stay here."

"Ah, ja. Ve must continue on. . ._JA INDEED_!" Without taking anymore considerations, the deranged Nazi ran down the stairs and over to the destroyed wall. He opened the dressing room 'door' just beyond it, and ran into the dressing room, laughing hysterically.

Takeo and Nikolai simply watched in silence for a moment. "Well," Nikolai eventually said, breaking the awkward silence. "Looks like he lost it."

"When did he ever have 'it'?" Takeo answered.

* * *

><p>"Howdy! Hey! Hola!" Still no response from the Demonic Announcer. "<em>YO VOICE!<em>"

The sound of a toilet flush echoed through the room. "_Ah, that's better._" The Demonic Announcer commented in relief.

Dempsey was so flustered at this sight (well, sound) that he could not think up any reply of _any_ sort. "Didn't know you could do. . .THAT."

"_Oh. Well, yeah. I got bored of you just sitting in one spot, so I figured I could treat that like one of them 'commercial breaks' that are always happening on the television._"

Dempsey still couldn't think of much to say. "Okay well, whatever. I would _really_ prefer not to get into this subject."

"_Alright, I had something to tell you. Now what was it. . ._"

"Oh, has the GREAT and POWERFUL voice forgotten what-"

"_OH YES! While I was gone answering the call of duty (har har), I took a look at the reviews page for this fan fiction._"

"Hey! What did I say about the not me fourth wall-breaking!"

"_Well I also saw that YOU broke the fourth wall earlier in this chapter. So It's my duty to make everything uneven again. BUT ANYWAY, I noticed that one person pointed out that you have been quickscoping._"

"You can't be serious."

"_I'll have you know that quickscoping is not allowed in Call of Duty: Black Ops. Heck, it's not even possible! Therefore, I'm going to have to ban you._"

"Sweet! No more being stuck here!"

The Demonic Announcer was surprised at this sight. It thought Dempsey would be very disturbed by this, but now it realized that Dempsey was serving some great entertainment. Besides, the Demonic Announcer realized that banning would more than likely _help_ Dempsey solve his dilemma with being trapped in this room. ". . . . . . . _FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE! You can stay. But ONLY because you're so amusing!_"

Dempsey was just about to throw a party practically, because it _sounded_ like a compliment from the Demonic Announcer. Then, however, he realized otherwise. "You suck worse than Richtofen! Well, almost worse. Maybe around the same, but still! You suck so much it only takes you _a third_ of a lick to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop! And beyond! Way to derail the whole story."

The Demonic Announcer laughed. "_OH YOU!_"

* * *

><p><strong>And that's where the title of this chapter comes from!<strong>

**Kudos to Headstrong91 for making that there possible!  
><strong>


	8. Location Confirmed

As round 6 came to an end and 7 commenced, Nikolai and Takeo felt they were slowly starting to run out of fighting space. Richtofen, however, thought he could get some pleasure out of it.

Nikolai quickly bagged a zombie that hopped into the room through the hole in the ceiling. There was also a zombie charging full speed at him from his right. Thankfully, the Russian had just enough rounds in his submachine gun to take him down as well before having to reload.

Richtofen slaughtered any zombie he saw that was trying to take down the barriers. He managed to clear both windows in one sweep, thanks to the MP40's large capacity and stopping power.

Takeo just now stepped into the dressing room, for he was holding off the zombies coming their way from the lobby. The M14 was proving to be a very affective gun still.

"We outta keep moving!" Nikolai suggested once more. "If there's three of us and we're starting to have tough time, imagine what Dempsy is going through now!"

Takeo and Richtofen did not respond. They still could care less about the American.

"Takeo, you think we should move to the next room now?" Nikolai asked, just barely managing to slip through two zombies that were just about to corner him.

"Your call, Soviet." Takeo replied halfheartedly. He was focusing much more on blowing off undead head than he was on taking time to respond to his rival's thought.

Nikolai considered. He currently had the lowest amount of points of the three of them, but was also running low on PM63 ammo, and his Olympia wasn't very efficient anymore. Four zombies came rushing at him. Nikolai decided to just seize the opportunity and open up the next door. As he was doing so, he slid the last PM63 magazine he had into the chamber, cocked it, and let the bullets loose into the zombies' head and necks. The door was open momentarily. "Come on, guys!" He ordered.

"Ja ja," Richtofen responded. "I am coming, Nikolai."

"You go, Doctor!" Takeo suggested as he continued to fire his rifle at the pursuing zombies. "I will cover your escape!" As he emptied another M14 magazine, he began to walk backwards to catch up to his comrades. He also swapped out his M14 for his Stakeout, rather than reloading the rifle.

The first thing Nikolai did when he entered the stage area was check to see if the mystery box had spawned here. Nope. "Okay," Nikolai thought out loud to himself. "1,520 points left. Out of affective ammo. Still no Dempsey." The drunk Russian was hit with another tough decision. Try to retain his points, or buy an M16. Based on the situation, he just went with purchasing an M16.

Nikolai ran over to the chalk outline of the assault rifle, to the right of the power switch on the dark stage of the theater. He held up 1,200 points, and a 'new' M16 appeared in his hands. It is a pretty good weapon to use against the zombies, but now he only has 320 points. If Dempsey was in any unopened room, his American friend would have to hold off by himself for a bit longer. Takeo or Richtofen could afford to open up any doors necessary, but Nikolai knew they would not be willing to.

Not a moment too soon, Nikolai threw the large power switch, and the huge curtain opened, revealing what was left of the seating area. The teleporter also activated, Perk-A-Cola machines turned back on, the door separating the foyer and the theater opened, and a couple lights here and there were illuminated. He looked out into the theater for the box, and it wasn't there either.

Nikolai groaned and then went back the way he came, in order to help his team suppress the zombies rushing in from the dressing room.

"Almost glad you're back, Nikolai." Takeo said. "I'm going to get some honorable Juggernog. Keep hitting them."

Nikolai watched in disgust as the Japanese captain just left him hanging there in his place while, while he went to go and consume a succulent and very healthy beverage. "Meh, whatever." He began firing at zombie heads with the American weapon alongside Richtofen, who was killing most of the zombies with his MP40, which still had a great deal of reserve ammo.

"So have you located ze box and/or Dempsey yet, Nikolai?" Richtofen asked as he approached an intermission in his firing, in order to reload.

"No." He simply replied. "Wait, you can check the box's current location, can't you?" He realized. The Russian took his eyes of the targets and ceased firing. "I'm gonna check, Richtofen! Stay here and hold them off."

"Vhat? Vait! I'm not done rel- _AHHH_!" A massive horde of undead came rushing out of the dressing room. The Nazi scientist had to retreat to finish reloading. If he stayed there, he would he overrun with flesh-hungry monsters.

Nikolai jogged to the rearmost part of the backstage area to view the chalk map of the theater. There were a total of nine light bulbs on the map, each inside the perimeter of a room. One of them was illuminated, signifying the current location of the mystery box.

Nikolai gasped. "The box is in that tiny room!" He finally saw where he needed to go. However, he still had to get there. "Dempsey must be there! Could he have survived all this time in there? Hell, did he even get _out_ of the box? Either way I've got to get in there quick."

"I am back and honorable!" Takeo shared, before jumping at the sight of the great multitude of zombies coming. It shocked him so much, he fell down the small set of stairs that lead up from the floor to the stage.

"Zhere are too many!" Richtofen cried as he sprayed some rounds. "Nikolai, friend, ve need you!"

"Right." Nikolai realized. "I better save up points!" He ran their way and started killing off the zombies, trying to get the most points he could so that he could open up the door and find out what's up with Dempsey.

* * *

><p>Tank Dempsey felt the building rumble, followed by a loud and very unnatural noise. That was how he knew his fellow comrades had recently got the power turned back on.<p>

He managed to hold off yet another round. It was indeed more difficult than any previous one, but still no match for him, even if all he had was an L96A1 and a Colt M1911. He was sure to continue his slow quickscoping.

"Whew!" He sighed. "And that's another one!" He changed out all the magazines for new ones while he sat down in the back corner of the room, under the window, and waited for his friends to finish mopping up the zombies they were dealing with. He could very faintly hear gunshots coming from the direction of the stage area.

It took him 'till now to realize that there have been no words spoken by the Demonic Announcer since their last quarrel. _Strange_, he thought. The almost dead silence continued on for some time. It was beginning to give Dempsey the chills, so he decided to check.

"Hey, voice." He spoke up. "You there?" There was nothing.

The silence went on for a few minutes. Still no voice. Maybe there would be no more zombies. _That'd be great_! Dempsey thought.

Suddenly, the mystery box lid opened. Dempsey watched it for awhile. Nothing happened, nor was there a weapon or a glow. He decided to go investigate.

As he stood up, there was a very strong wind leading to the box. The mystery box was sucking Tank inside. "What? Hey! _WHOA_!" He tried grabbing something to hold on to.

"Quick! Before it comes back!" A voice suggested. Though it was not the voice of the Demonic Announcer. This voice sounded Russian. It wasn't nearly as tough sounding as Nikolai's, but the most mysterious thing Dempsey had ever heard. Maybe.

"_What. . .the. . .HELL!_" Dempsey was sucked into the box with nothing else spoken. The mystery box lid close, and everything in the room went back to normal. Or actually, how it was before the mystery box inhaled the American warrior.


	9. Marekarov

**I'm really sorry for the freakishly long hiatus, everyone. Ughh. . .I'm really trying to get this complete.**

* * *

><p>Dempsey continued to float through the bleak subspace inside the mystery box. The same space he floated through when he first hopped inside at the beginning. Everything looked different than last time, but also like he remembered as well. Very strange. "Okay," he said out loud "now what?"<p>

He encountered more random objects floating around in the void. Out of boredom of just being suspended in space, he decided to start surfing on a park bench that just happened to come by. "Whoo hoo. . ." It wasn't as much fun as it may sound, seeing as there was no force that kept them together, so the bench and Dempsey's body would always drift in their own directions freely. Inertia, people.

After a few minutes of floating aimlessly, Dempsey came across a very large house, almost as big as a full size mansion. It appeared to be occupied for some time. _Eh_, He thought, _probably just more random crap_. As he started drifting a little closer to it, he actually saw furniture inside. There were lights on, too. However, everything looked to be a bit shorter in height than usual. He could also make out some firearms inside the house.

It was after Dempsey was examining it for awhile that he realized he was actually being drawn toward the house. He was actually cool with it. "If this is where I'm gonna live, it might not be so bad!"

The front door of the house opened. It seemed it had heard Dempsey's comment. "Hey, in here!" The same Russian called once more.

"Whoa. . ." It wasn't like Dempsey had a choice. He was already floating over to the doorway.

When Dempsey landed inside the small foyer of the house, he noticed that everything actually _was_ a bit shorter to the ground than usual. "Okay, this a little bit out of the ordinary." He said as he looked at the various things he could see. He saw a living room with a couch, coffee table, large television, and several game consoles. On the coffee table, he saw a deck of playing cards. There was also a staircase in front of him, but he couldn't really see what was up there. "Wonder who lives _here_?"

"I do." The voice answered from behind Tank.

"Well dude it's pretty swee-" Dempsey turned around to find. . .a blue-gray cartoon horse that was about half his height? ". . .Did me and Nikolai's canteens get mixed up? No wait, I saw you earlier!"

"Well you find strange things inside the mystery box dimension." The pony said as he closed the front door.

"Errm, I've noticed."

"Good. I would be surprised if you didn't up until now." The pony walked over to the living room. "Take a load off and stay for a while."

Dempsey complied and removed his combat boots. "So uh, you were the one who brought me here?"

"Yes. I suppose you want to know who I am as well?"

"That would be nice."

He stood up straight and inhaled. "My name is Vladimir Marekarov." He said proudly.

"_Mare_karov?" Dempsey laughed. "But you're a boy horse!"

"Well I _was_ going to be called 'Ma_colt_rov', but that was kind of hard to say."

"Alright, whatever you say." Tank was trying his best to not burst out in laughter, but was also dumbfounded that he as in the midst of a _real_ My Little Pony. Indeed, the world of the mystery box is a strange place, but meeting a Russian terrorist, who was probably born pretty recently at this time, as a colorful cartoon pony in the flesh is random on a whole new level. "So, uh, why'd ya suck me in here against my will anyway?"

"Ask yourself, was it _really_ against your will? Are you telling me you wanted to stay there with your life in danger while dealing with that awful. . .thing of a voice with no way out?" Marekarov turned away from Dempsey and walked over into his living room.

"Well, when you put it that way, I guess I should be a least bit fortunate. So, all this time you knew about me and the voice?"

"Of course I've known! How would I not have known? I know everything that goes on around in this zone, and that's not much! So I would most definitely be aware that a human has foolishly stumbled in an area he's not supposed to!"

Tank backed off a little, even though the two were already in adjacent rooms. "Sorry, just wondering."

"So to answer your question a bit better, I know the Demonic Announcer, and he knows me. I don't believe _anyone_ deserves to be stuck with him like that, so I decided to just gently pluck you out of there."

"Oh. Well, that's err, kind of you, I guess."

"Yeah, thank you. Now come on over here! I made a neat way to play solitaire with two people!" Marekarov sat _upright_ on his couch and picked up the deck of playing cards that were on the coffee table.

Dempsey could think of nothing else to do, so he just decided to humor the Russian pony.

"Oh wait," Marekarov stopped shuffling the deck, "This particular game involves complex data and incomprehensible sequences of off-world elements that only residents of the Box Zone can comprehend."

Dempsey had a hard time even figuring out what he had just said. "So what does that mean?"

"To put it simple, you wont be able to understand how to play."

"Oh. . .We can't be _that_ far away from the regular world, could we?" He really had no idea what he was saying right now. He was just trying to avoid any awkward moments; not trying to get Marekarov to let him play.

The pony set the cards back down on the table like they were. "Have a seat, I'll show you something."

Tank sat right down as he suggested. The sofa was closer to the ground than what he was used to, but it was still comfortable nonetheless.

Marekarov reached down to the side of the couch, and seemed to have grabbed something. Dempsey could not see what it was. When it was brought up to eye-level, it appeared to be a very futuristic-looking laptop computer, simply put. Marekarov set the gadget on top of his belly, which somehow appeared to be much larger than usual, strange optical illusion, and started to open it. "I'll show you a map of this area."

Upon opening it, a map of earth appeared. However, it seemed to be zooming in rather quickly. Neither of them knew just what the thing was doing, but Marekarov figured it out once a voice from the computer said: "FRIENDLY PREDATOR MISSILE INBOUND!"

"Oh crap oh crap!" Marekarov freaked out. "_Cancel cancel_!" He started mashing a button on the device, and soon, the screen went dark and the map Marekarov was trying to show his guest appeared. "Okay. We are here" He did his best to point at a small floating house near the upper-left corner of the screen. After that, he directed his hoof down toward the bottom of the screen, onto a small distorted area. "This is where you came in the first time." There were actually several distorted areas scattered throughout the map.

"So what do the fuzzy areas mean?" Dempsey asked as he looked closely at the device.

"They are portals between this space and your world. In words you may understand better, they are mystery box spawn points, and as you can see, the portals are in the same areas of the spawn points. This whole area is kind of like an alternate universe of Kino der Toten beyond the mystery box."

"Ohh. . ." Dempsey was astonished. "Wow. . ." Words cannot describe how flabbergasted Dempsey is at, well, everything. Inside the mystery box, teleportation, disembodied voices, talking colorful pony, technology that hasn't been invented in his time yet, everything.

Marekarov looked back to his laptop. "It looks like your friends are approaching the room you were just in." He set it on the coffee table. "It's time for you to go, I'm afraid."

"What? But I just got here! I actually wouldn't mind living here forever! Even if I have to live with you."

"I'm sorry, but you can only exist here for so long."

Dempsey lowered his head. He was just getting used to a seemingly peaceful life in this alternate dimension, and now he has to go back and face that cruel world of his, and face people like Richtofen. "Okay."

Feeling sympathetic, Marekarov decided to try and cheer him up by giving him a few things that would help him in the undead battle he would soon resume. "Follow me." He led Dempsey to a remote room in his large house. The door had a large combination lock on it. Marekarov spun the dial several times, and the door opened. The room was none other than. . .

"HO. . . . . . . .LY. . . . . . . . . .SHIIIIIIIII. . . . . . . . ."

"Is this not the _biggest_ armory you've ever seen?"

It was, indeed, the biggest armory Dempsey had ever laid eyes on. ". . . . . . . .YES!"

Marekarov chuckled. "Come with me to the 'special' section."

_'Special' section?_ Dempsey thought. This as all special enough already!

They walked through aisles and aisles of firearms. Most of which were probably never used before. There was everything from pistols to heavy machine guns. From A-91 to Zulaica. There were even a few IFVs in the back, and a TIE Fighter attached to the ceiling. This place was at least 20x the size of the Marine Corps' largest armory, thought Dempsey.

Marekarov led his human guest to a secluded corner in the armory. Compared to the other weapons here, all these looked weird.

"Here's the 'special' section." He told him. "If these don't keep those flesh-hungry imbeciles at bay, nothing will."

"I like the sound of this!" Dempsey hopped excitedly. "What'cha got?"

Right then, Marekarov handed Dempsey a black and red ray gun.

"Porter's X2 Ray Gun! Awesome!"

"Dual wield." He gave him another.

Dempsey's eyes widened as he took the second advanced weapon in his other hand. Before he could say anything else, his horse friend continued to dish out tools of death.

"Zues Cannon. . .your favorite Cymbal Monkey bombs. . .semtex grenades. . ."

The Marine Raider was almost choking up at the beautiful sight.

"And. . .oh, drink this." He handed him a glass bottle.

"What is it?" Dempsey asked, but had already chugged it all before his friend could answer. "Beer?"

"Mule Kick. Now you can carry this." Marekarov did his best to lift up an odd-looking machine gun to him. "It's a Pack-a-Punched M60. Prototype. Never been used before, but I'll let you have that honor."

"Dempsey was flabbergasted and speechless. ". . .Ehh. . .why are you doing this?"

Marekarov sighed, then proudly looked up to his human friend. "You don't deserve to be stuck with the Demonic Announcer like that. I'm giving you the tools you need, and then some, to eliminate every last one of his rotten minions."

Tank almost shed a tear, but of course, didn't. "This is one of the best things anyone has ever done for me. . .! Oh, and by the way, technically we can't kill _all_ the zombies. They're made to be endless."

Marekarov's face changed to a 'really, dude?'-ish expression. "Yeah, way to kill the emotional part of the story."

Dempsey laughed. "That's what I do!"

Marekarov couldn't help but give a chuckle as well. "Alright, now, you need to get back to your friends, and I need to get to a faraway land where there are other ponies like myself."

"Already? It still seems too soon!"

"Don't you wanna try out those new devices?"

"OH, YOU BET!"

"Then get out there!"

Dempsey took a deep breath. "Okay."

"Good." Marekarov started toward a small teleporter nearby. He stepped onto the platform, and activated several switches on a side panel. "One more thing."

Dempsey was just fixing to attempt to find his way out of the massive room, but stopped to hear what Marekarov had to say.

"Thanks for visiting. You're pretty cool." He started getting brighter and brighter until the horse was officially teleported away.

Tank continued to walk away. "I am, aren't I." He replied smugly.


End file.
